Eden Hazard | "I am signing for Chelsea"

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It's difficult to pinpoint exactly what has caused you to all act this way. Is this some novel form of mass hysteria born from a widespread and abject paranoia over rival clubs? Each season a vast swathe of you seem to willfully elevate some random player's status to somewhere between Pele and Jesus and then spend months in a continuous state of writhing misery as you fabricate scenarios concerning your idol with which to chastise and mutilate one another's mental states. Can't you see how fecking weird this is that you're doing?
 
The constant debate isn't the thing that amuses me but how the general consensus can swing almost a full 360 without there being any official update. We can, over about 12 hours, go from "we stand a great chance of getting him" to "shit he's going to city" with a grand total of zero official updates in the interim.
 
That has to be the worst analogy of all time :lol:

You really don't see it, do you? You're all completely oblivious to the pointless insanity standard in here? The monotonous drone of nothingness like a background hum in the silence of empty space, the attempts and inevitable failures to create something tangible in the vast void of the zero-plane, the slow motion, utterly faceless cracks of blanks being fired in the vacuum of eternal misery; you're wholly ignorant of the lot of it, aren't you?

May God have mercy on your pitiful, pathetic souls; may God have mercy on you all.
 
The constant debate isn't the thing that amuses me but how the general consensus can swing almost a full 360 without there being any official update. We can, over about 12 hours, go from "we stand a great chance of getting him" to "shit he's going to city" with a grand total of zero official updates in the interim.

You can see it! My child, here may be hope for you yet!
 
Looking at all of this a bit to deeply there Cider, it's just a bit of fun.
 
City or Chelsea according to Belgian commentator during tonight's game between Lille and Montpellier.

Shame.
 
City or Chelsea according to Belgian commentator during tonight's game between Lille and Montpellier.

Shame.

Probably believes the "wearing blue next season" crap - the Press Pass guys have spoken twice about those "quotes" in the last week, further increasing the credibility of sports journalists everywhere.

I don't think Chelsea have been linked for a while.
 
City or Chelsea according to Belgian commentator during tonight's game between Lille and Montpellier.

Shame.

Chelsea recently signed Marko Marin, can't see them going after another attacking midfielder.
 
Can't see Chelsea having Mata, Marin and Hazard in the same team.

I would think Chelsea will be looking to play Mata/Marin more central and so will need other players to play wide, so it could easily work. The front 3 is what Chelsea definitely need to address.
 
Well at least the muppetry will help most of the forum from not being depressed cider. Even if the consensus is we don't get the player, it gives them something to do over the summer.
 
"You'll never see me in the red of Lille again. It will be another red next season."

Apparently a quote from Hazard from Lille TV...
 
"You'll never see me in the red of Lille again. It will be another red next season."

Apparently a quote from Hazard from Lille TV...

City's away kit?
 
F*ck me, all he needed to add was 'MUWAHAHAHAAAAAA' & then he'd really have broken the Lille fans' hearts.
 
Yeah the second part of that quote was made up by somebody on twitter, never actually happened.
 
I don't know how those morons keep their jobs with the outright lying they do. Maybe they figure if everyone else repeats it that it will become true?
 
May 25th, 2014: "My favourite colour is white. I'm concentrating on the World Cup right now but next season I hope to wear my favourite colour more often."

Cue mass hysteria.
 
May 25th, 2014: "My favourite colour is white. I'm concentrating on the World Cup right now but next season I hope to wear my favourite colour more often."

Cue mass hysteria.

Followed by "Only god knows."
 
This kid is going to be a superstar, no doubt.


Still hoping we can somehow, someway beat City to his signature...
 
Hazard confirms he's going to Manchester - but doesn't say which club. "To Manchester, I've already said. The decision will be made soon."

Half dreading and half loving this.
 
After the QPR game we really should realize that it's the hope that kills.

I don't think it's a done deal as everybody else is saying. If it was, why would he be keeping his options open by making these statements.
 
Cocks in guys;

“I have already said that my wish is to go to the Premier League,” Hazard told a French TV station. “It’s the blue that I’ll be wearing next season. Definitely the blue.”
white text lulz
 
Why can't the egomanic just state where he wants to, or is going to play?

He may be talented, and yes we'd be putting down a big marker for the season if we land this guy, but all the cryptic messages is doing my head right in.

I hate his attitude.
 
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