Film The Redcafe Movie review thread

Biohazard Patient Zero

Pretty standard stuff, virus get made , it gets out and infects everybody in the Bio Lab, very predictable twist at the end.
It was not quite has bad as I thought it would be, helped past 80 mins pretty quick.

4/10
 
Currently in the middle of the newest transformers movie with Markie mark in.
Not sure I'll finish it, halfway through and its a bit annoying.
It's so fecking polished and clean even a young girl running through a field looks green screened.
 
Woman in gold

Intersperses present and past, Los Angeles and Vienna, very effectively in a true story of art restitution and the second world war. Helen Mirren shows her usual poise in the leading role. Recommended. 8.5/10
 
Transformers age of extension or fecking whatever.
Sorry I sat through it.
2/10
Big smelly poo.
 
20000 Days on Earth - pseudo-documentary about Nick Cave and his creative process. Fascinating to see how he works and thinks, gets a bit bogged down in his muddled philosophy at times, but he's inherently interesting.

Predestination - finally got around to watching this after hearing mixed things. Excellent performances from Ethan Hawke and Sarah Snook can't hide a thin premise. I'd picked the ending about 20 minutes into it and I know it had a limited budget but if the Spierig brothers want to make films like this they need to learn to stretch it more. Had the production quality of a Lifetime movie.

Martyrs - had been told this was a top horror film. It isn't. It has no merit unless you're a particularly dull sadist. Also fairly pretentious for such a stupid film. @Rooney in Dublin s people let us down again.
 
Martyrs - had been told this was a top horror film. It isn't. It has no merit unless you're a particularly dull sadist. Also fairly pretentious for such a stupid film. @Rooney in Dublin s people let us down again.

This was my view of it.

WOW that was a hard film to watch, the level of gore and brutally is something else.
The parts where the big guy is kicking the crap out of the women, are really hard to watch.
I agree with Rooney in Paris that the gore and brutality has a place in the film, it is an integral part of the plot and not just gore for the sake of it.

I did not enjoy the film, I dont think you can enjoy a film like this, you just watch it like I did in disbelief.
It is not a film I could or even want to watch again, but it is worth a watch, if you are a horror fan and like gore.

6.5/10
 
Martyrs - had been told this was a top horror film. It isn't. It has no merit unless you're a particularly dull sadist. Also fairly pretentious for such a stupid film. @Rooney in Dublin s people let us down again.
It's really shit isn't it? I seem to recall it to have quite a bit of gratuitous violence, though as you point out, it's pretentious and the director probably didn't see it as gratuitous. Just checked, pauldy and I warned you last summer Archie!
I was wondering what the 2008 film Martyrs is like - anyone seen it? If so, is it:

a) Awful & exploitive (as some claim). Or...
b) Intellectually stimulating (as others claim).

Cheers.

Answer a) in my opinion. Also, whether you like it or not, be careful cos it's really brutal.

Although, to be fair, it's so bad that it does manage to make you wonder whether you're going to achieve transcendance through the suffering of watching it. But you don't.
 
I've yet to a film featuring Tom Hardy that wasn't disappointing.
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But actually I agree with you. Other than the above and Locke his films (for me) have been underwhelming.
 
Yep. Felt chested by the end.

I'd rather watch any film by Shamalayan. As awful as he is, I'd like to think he's not taking things too seriously. Well, he can't possibly be... that is unless he is, but nah no one can be that idiotic. Anyway, I want my three hours back, I really do.
 
I'd rather watch any film by Shamalayan. As awful as he is, I'd like to think he's not taking things too seriously. Well, he can't possibly be... that is unless he is, but nah no one can be that idiotic. Anyway, I want my three hours back, I really do.

Harsh but perhaps fair and true. The last hour was a complete cluster***k.
 
Just came back from watching Fast and Furious 7, it's hilariously bad. Terrible acting, cheesy lines, a ridiculous plot and watching Vin diesel and Jason Statham keep driving into one another made me scratch my head.
There was a nice montage for Paul Walker at the end, the only part worth watching. 3/10.
 
Patton - George C Scott is fantastic. It's a nearly 3 hour movie that didn't seem like it. 9/10
 
The boy next door.

Jennifer Lopez Stars in an erotic thriller following her and her family trials when a myseterious, young, handsome chap moves in next door, the two share chemistry and a common interest in 'The classics' (books) which Lopez convieniently teaches.

Soon it turns out that he is a psycho stalker and has filmed their one night together (which, frankly was borderline rape) and he soon kicks the living hell out of a student in full view of everybody and gets expelled from the school, at no point does anybody call the police after he has fractured this students skull.

All in all, it's a film that tries to be sexy and fails, tries to be scary and fails, tries to be funny and fails, actually...this film just fails.

2/10.
 
The boy next door.

Jennifer Lopez Stars in an erotic thriller following her and her family trials when a myseterious, young, handsome chap moves in next door, the two share chemistry and a common interest in 'The classics' (books) which Lopez convieniently teaches.

Soon it turns out that he is a psycho stalker and has filmed their one night together (which, frankly was borderline rape) and he soon kicks the living hell out of a student in full view of everybody and gets expelled from the school, at no point does anybody call the police after he has fractured this students skull.

All in all, it's a film that tries to be sexy and fails, tries to be scary and fails, tries to be funny and fails, actually...this film just fails.

2/10.
Is there Lopez nudity? Am assuming not, but live in hope.
 
Is there Lopez nudity? Am assuming not, but live in hope.
no, it's teased in the borderline rape sex scene but no, there is a sex scene a bit later with a blonde and you see her tits which are nice, but it doesn't come close to saving a terrible film.

On a sidenote, my colleague who keeps choosing these awful films has chosen another one to watch so i will review that when it's finished, my expectations are not high.
 
no, it's teased in the borderline rape sex scene but no, there is a sex scene a bit later with a blonde and you see her tits which are nice, but it doesn't come close to saving a terrible film.

On a sidenote, my colleague who keeps choosing these awful films has chosen another one to watch so i will review that when it's finished, my expectations are not high.
Damn those borderline rape sex scene teases. I pay my money, I want full on non-consensual nudity.

On a serious note though, am on a run of watching shit new films. Planet Terror was a serious letdown yesterday.