Film The Redcafe Movie review thread

Clerks, Chasing Amy and Mallrats are all feckin superb

That bloke from Something About Earl's character is one of my favourite of all time

Ihni binni dimi diniwiny anitaime
 
I see, they're going to drill down to the core of the earth, using a magical spaceship which can fly through rocks, then re-start the core somehow, which has stopped working for no reason.

Seems plausable
 
Hollow Man

The Plot
Kevin feckin Bacon makes himself invisible, and then goes mental.

Rating 1/10

This is arguably my least favourite film of all time. Not just because it's feckin shit, and it is feckin shit, but also because it had decent potential. A invisible bloke....he could get up to all sorts. But no, he just goes all weird for no real reason, and then survives some massive explosion to try and set up an exciting ending...which fails

Bag of shite, I hope the director's hung himself from shame...
 
Plechazunga said:
If I was making a film about being invisible, it would revolve entirely around the main character seeing women naked
Click to expand...

You'd think that was a given wouldn't you?

Twats
 
Summer School

The Plot
Some thick twats have to go to a Yank school, in the summer, due to failing some test. A games teacher is made to teach them, due to the headmaster bloke hating him

Rating 10/10
Amazing. A show stealing performance by two nobends called Chainsaw and Dave.

Everyone should see it
 
Memento

I had little idea what was happening in this film at the time, and now can't even remember that...which is ironic, as you'll discover if you watch it.

Something/10...not sure what
 
Memento's amazing

One of my favourite films. I hate the work "movie", anyone who uses it is a cock
 
noodlehair said:
I'm currently watching "The Core"

Not too promising so far

I missed the start...why did pigeons suddenly start attacking everyone?
Click to expand...

because the earths magnetic field is fecked up and they use it for nagivation
 
noodlehair said:
I see, they're going to drill down to the core of the earth, using a magical spaceship which can fly through rocks, then re-start the core somehow, which has stopped working for no reason.

Seems plausable
Click to expand...

there is a reason, you only find out later
 
Plechazunga said:
Memento

I had little idea what was happening in this film at the time, and now can't even remember that...which is ironic, as you'll discover if you watch it.

Something/10...not sure what
Click to expand...

Memento is awesome. The only reason for someone to not like it is because of being too damn thick to understand it.
 
RapidRed said:
Memento is awesome. The only reason for someone to not like it is because of being too damn thick to understand it.
Click to expand...

doesn't take a genius, I understood, great film, don't know why I've only watched it once
 
bullitt-dvd2_1117825243.jpg


Plot: Lt. Frank Bullitt is asked to protect a witness for 40 hours. Shit happens.

Watch it for a brilliant acting performance from Steve McQueen. Class actor in one of his finest roles.

Rating: 8/10.
 
CUBE:

PLOT:

Bird goes to bed, wakes up in an empty square room with doors on all the walls and ceiling/floor. She figures out how to open the doors and they all lead to identical rooms, some of which contain other characters and some contain traps. It's like a giant inverted rubics cube.

RATING:

6/10 - interesting idea, some great death scenes and idea's for traps, but needed better actors to pull it off properly. Sequels may or may not be shit, but probably.



 
The Core
24659596_985f8e0045_m.jpg


Plot: The core of the earth has stopped working, causing all kinds of weird shit to happen. It's basically a complete rip off of Armagedon, except with even more sillyness.

Some things I didn't get about this film;
- Pigeons attacked people, for no reason
- They used a ship which could fly and see through rocks, built by a mad bearded man who lives in the desert. This was never adequately explained
- Since when does lightning cause large buildings made entirely of rock to explode?
- How come they even had space suits with them?
- All the other stuff that didn't make any kind of logical sense

Rating: 7/10. Really, really stupid, but watchable, partly due to the stupidity
 
The Evil Dead II

A bloke and his bird decide to hang out in a cottage in the woods. This turns out to be a serious error.

To say the house is haunted is a bit like saying Roman Abramovich is "alright for a bob or two". It's massively fecking haunted. It, and every single thing in it, is entirely haunted by evil spirits.

The bird gets bumped off quite quickly. The bloke, played by Bruce Campbell - who on this viewing should be regarded as one of the great geniuses of film history - is left alone to battle the house. Highlights include all the household appliances laughing hysterically at him, and his own hand becoming possessed, which he then has to saw off and battle to death with a shotgun. It's at about this point that he flips, attaches a chainsaw to his stump, and declares total war on the house...

It's fecking brilliant

9/10
 
Plechazunga said:
Memento

I had little idea what was happening in this film at the time, and now can't even remember that...which is ironic, as you'll discover if you watch it.

Something/10...not sure what
Click to expand...

I watched it again recently when I had time to really watch it and it was far easier to understand/follow that I thought from my original beer fuled watching when I nodded off half way through.

I still don't think it is as gfood as many people thing but it was a soild 7/10, maybe even an 8.

At least it tried something clever and actually pulled it off in an entertaining way. Most "clever" films these days are just ludicrous rubbish.

The Core is utter rubbish - 1/10 because my son quite enjoyed it when he was 6 years old.
 
Plechazunga said:
The Evil Dead II

A bloke and his bird decide to hang out in a cottage in the woods. This turns out to be a serious error.

To say the house is haunted is a bit like saying Roman Abramovich is "alright for a bob or two". It's massively fecking haunted. It, and every single thing in it, is entirely haunted by evil spirits.

The bird gets bumped off quite quickly. The bloke, played by Bruce Campbell - who on this viewing should be regarded as one of the great geniuses of film history - is left alone to battle the house. Highlights include all the household appliances laughing hysterically at him, and his own hand becoming possessed, which he then has to saw off and battle to death with a shotgun. It's at about this point that he flips, attaches a chainsaw to his stump, and declares total war on the house...

It's fecking brilliant

9/10
Click to expand...

:lol:
 
Hollow Man.

I always hated Invisible Man type stuff, mainly because they never thought of anything decent to do with being invisible. Sod secretly looking at naked women. Use it to do something interesting or clever or just to make a huge amount of dosh. The women would then be more likely to get naked when they do know you are looking.

Hollow Man managed to be even dumber than this. Which is amazing.

1/10 because I didnlt actually want to kill myself by the end. It was close mind.
 
Bruce Campbell - the king of one liners

Army of Darkness
180px-Bruce_Campbell_Army_of_Darkness.jpg


Plot: A man is accidentally transported to 1300 A.D., where he must battle an army of the dead and retrieve the Necronomicon so he can return home.

Follow up from Evil Dead II... fired back in time, Ash arrives in medieval times to find himself in the middle of a war between the reds and some other faction. However the evil dead are also here trying to kill everyone. Ash has to prove himself not a member of the evil dead first, before uniting both the clans to battle the evil dead. Memorable scenes include Ash getting possessed and fighting himself, "stop hitting yourself...stop hitting yourself", pouring boiling hot water down his throat to kill the little evil Ash's and trying to retrieve the book of the dead. Great jokes, great one liners and a great alternative ending on the dvd.

"THIS is my BOOM STICK!"
"gimme some sugar baby"
"you got real ugly"

Rating: 9 out of 10

my favourite out of the excellent trilogy, even though the first movie did have a tree boning a bird
 
The Wind that Shakes the Barley

poster1_full.jpg


Plot:
Tells a story about two brother, Teddy and Damien who joined the IRA with the aim to free Ireland from British occupation. When the Anglo-Irish Treaty was signed (which resulted in RoI as a free state and NI still as part of the British Empire, Teddy thought that it was the best that they can get, while Damien thinks that the treaty was an insult to what they've been fighting for all this time. The two brothers parted ways with tragic consequences.The movie was great, and the ending is heartbreaking.

Rating: 8.5/10
 
Mrs Henderson Presents:

Plot: Upper Class widow opens a theatre in London to relieve boredom. Competition almost closes them down until nudity and the second World War livens things up.

Judy Dench is as always superb and the plot is never less than interesting. Bob Hoskins is great but that Irish Guy is as crap as usual. It must be a good film because he doesn't spoil it.

8/10
 
Delicatessen

cecina_curada.jpg


Plot:

feck knows, I haven't seen it yet.

Back in 2 hours, gimps.
 
Terrifying Girls' High School: Lynch Law Classroom
tghs_330x456.jpg


PLOT
Three new students at a super-strict girl's school must face off with a repressive school administration, the sadistic, murderous student discipline brigade and corrupt politicians over the murder/suicide of one of their friends.

Typical 70's exploitation film. Not a lot of story, mainly just sex and violence. Very average film.

RATING
5/10
 
Plechazunga said:
The Evil Dead II

A bloke and his bird decide to hang out in a cottage in the woods. This turns out to be a serious error.

To say the house is haunted is a bit like saying Roman Abramovich is "alright for a bob or two". It's massively fecking haunted. It, and every single thing in it, is entirely haunted by evil spirits.

The bird gets bumped off quite quickly. The bloke, played by Bruce Campbell - who on this viewing should be regarded as one of the great geniuses of film history - is left alone to battle the house. Highlights include all the household appliances laughing hysterically at him, and his own hand becoming possessed, which he then has to saw off and battle to death with a shotgun. It's at about this point that he flips, attaches a chainsaw to his stump, and declares total war on the house...

It's fecking brilliant

9/10
Click to expand...

class flick.
especially when he saws off his own hand.
:lol:
 
Spoony said:
Yes. Very surreal too.
Click to expand...

That it was.

Brilliant to look at too.

I just couldn't work out what those vegetarian gimps were up to.
 
Melbourne Red said:
That it was.

Brilliant to look at too.

I just couldn't work out what those vegetarian gimps were up to.
Click to expand...


Thing is, sometimes films like these either make sense or go straight over your head. I watched Stalker by Andrei Tarkovsky. A very highly rated move by a well respected director, but I just couldn't get into it. Must've put it on too late.
 
Wibble said:
I watched it again recently when I had time to really watch it and it was far easier to understand/follow that I thought from my original beer fuled watching when I nodded off half way through.

.
Click to expand...


I got Memento first time round. I thought it was excellent.
 
Equilibrium. Watch it. Good movie. You probably won't like it. So feck you.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.