Charlie Foley
Full Member
- Joined
- Mar 11, 2012
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I call my girlfriend wifey as a joke.
That craic with the dress is a load of shite. It's a nice dress.
That craic with the dress is a load of shite. It's a nice dress.
Wifey has been somewhat reappropriated by younger people and doesn’t mean the same to them as the dictionary definition.
Wifey isn't derogatory at all where I'm from.Given that hubby isn't a derogatory term, unlike wifey, and it isn't a name applied to a group who are subject to discrimination based on their sex I don't think it fits the definition of being sexist.
Is wifey in the sense you're referring to it solely an Aussie thing Wibbs, like Sheila, bogan etc?
Can't say I've ever come across it as a derogatory term and it is one my wife and I have used in affectionate jokey conversation in the same way as she would use hubby.
No. Very much a UK term.
I asked my better half what she would do if I referred to her as my wifey in a non-joking way.
I won't quote her as most of it won't get past the Caf's swearing filter.
Then again in a joking sense I call her my chattel but as she knoes I'm joking and trying to wind her up and I just get an eye roll.
All I can say is it's not derogatory where I come from, it's just affectionate. Each to their own, I suppose.
I actually thought your initial response was a joke pointing out how silly it is to complain about 'wifey', hence my own (unfunny, sorry) attempt to join in.
All I can say is it's not derogatory where I come from, it's just affectionate. Each to their own, I suppose.
Preston, 30 miles away. Mrs 711 is scouse, but I've civilised her, as much as one can.Where are you from out of interest? I grew up in Manchester and it was always a very patronising way or refering to women. 1950's style little woman at home cooking for her man and watming his slippers when he got home from work doing real work type stuff.
It isn't about it being a shit pet name. There are lots of those. It's dictionary definition is
a condescending way of referring to a man's wife.
So to call your own wife wifey is both sexist and insultingly dismissive.
No. Very much a UK term.
I asked my better half what she would do if I referred to her as my wifey in a non-joking way.
I won't quote her as most of it won't get past the Caf's swearing filter.
Then again in a joking sense I call her my chattel but as she knoes I'm joking and trying to wind her up and I just get an eye roll.
Given that hubby isn't a derogatory term, unlike wifey, and it isn't a name applied to a group who are subject to discrimination based on their sex I don't think it fits the definition of being sexist.
It isn't about it being a shit pet name. There are lots of those. It's dictionary definition is
a condescending way of referring to a man's wife.
So to call your own wife wifey is both sexist and insultingly dismissive.
Wifey is a bit cringe to me, mostly because I associate its usage with basic people, so I personally wouldn't ever use it. What I can't understand is the need for people like yourself to feel offence on behalf of women whose partners choose to use this word in spite of the negative connotations it might have once held, not because of it. Some Black people call each other nigger, some husbands call their wives wifey. Do you really think individuals such as yourself should be concerned with the semantics of pet names used between couples that are obviously not using it with the intent of being insulting?
Wifey is a bit cringe to me, mostly because I associate its usage with basic people, so I personally wouldn't ever use it. What I can't understand is the need for people like yourself to feel offence on behalf of women whose partners choose to use this word in spite of the negative connotations it might have once held, not because of it. Some Black people call each other nigger, some husbands call their wives wifey. Do you really think individuals such as yourself should be concerned with the semantics of pet names used between couples that are obviously not using it with the intent of being insulting?
Just to point out that men are also subject to discrimination due to their sex. Even the most radical of feminists would accept that, though would view it through the lense of patriarchal oppression of women rather than hatred of men. Such as with criminal and family law.
I've never heard 'wifey' being used as anything other than the equivalent of 'hubby' to be honest. Do you have examples?
Should I give my female companion a firm talking to for setting her contact up as such?Yes, you should. You never know who might steal your phone.
My wife changed her contact info in my phone from her name to “Wifey” the day we got married.
Context: we’re in our 20s and from the Southern US. It’s the same as her calling me “hubby” to anyone we know.
Should I change it to “spousal unit” to avoid offending anyone?
Should I give my female companion a firm talking to for setting her contact up as such?
Sounds like a plan!You should do up a PowerPoint explaining to her why she should be offended, including the dictionary definition, historical references and excerpts from this thread.
As always context matters. A boss referring to female employees he regularly takes the piss out of as a 'wifey' would clearly be sexist. By contrast a husband using it as an affectionate term for a partner clearly isn't.
Or to look at it another way. Why do "people like you" need to judge others as cringey and basic because they use the term wifey?
And did you not read the bit about the dictionary definition stating that it is a derogatory term?
I'm not judging people for using it, you are. I'm just saying that in experience the people I know that use it are a bit basic. I'm talking to the types that update Facebook just to say "Hubby just ran me a bath with candles, I'm so lucky!", or "Me and the wifey about to open a bottle of wine for lunch, #its8pmsomewhere".
The semantics of language evolve over time and certain groups of people use words in different ways. As of now, nigger is still defined as a contempuous term for a black person, yet it is used neutrally between black people. My point is this - If a couple want to refer to each other as hubby and wifey then their intent behind the word means much more than the connotations you associate with it. If you are the sort of person who sees a blokes phone pop up with wifey when she rings and then proceeds to think "God this guy doesn't even realise how sexist and insulting he is being" then sorry to say, but you are just a bit of a wanker.
If it looks like a duck, and quacks like a duck, we have at least to consider the possibility that we have a small aquatic bird of the family anatidae on our hands.
My point was that you were criticising me for thinking (holding the opinion) that a word with a patronising and demeaning dictionary definition was in fact a bit sexist when you were, ironically, quite happy to think people who used it were "basic".
Now in your scenario with someone who had named their partner wifey in their phone I wouldn't neccesarily think they were sexist as the possibility exists that they are ignorant of the words meaning. Of course as Douglas Adams once said
If that makes you think me a wanker the care factor is sub-zero.
And it bears no resemblence to black people appropriating the term nigger to reduce its power as there is no suggestion of wifey being used in a similar way. It is either sexist or ignorant or ironic. I don't think I've ever seen the later usage but I'm it probably does happen very occasionally.
You've pitched this twice now. There are lots of black people of different types in this world. Do you think they all feel the same way about the term 'nigger'? So why assert that the term is used neutrally between all of them then? FYI there are lots of black people that are uncomfortable about it's usage all over the world, in all forms.I'm not judging people for using it, you are. I'm just saying that in experience the people I know that use it are a bit basic. I'm talking to the types that update Facebook just to say "Hubby just ran me a bath with candles, I'm so lucky!", or "Me and the wifey about to open a bottle of wine for lunch, #its8pmsomewhere".
The semantics of language evolve over time and certain groups of people use words in different ways. As of now, nigger is still defined as a contempuous term for a black person, yet it is used neutrally between black people. My point is this - If a couple want to refer to each other as hubby and wifey then their intent behind the word means much more than the connotations you associate with it. If you are the sort of person who sees a blokes phone pop up with wifey when she rings and then proceeds to think "God this guy doesn't even realise how sexist and insulting he is being" then sorry to say, but you are just a bit of a wanker.
I don't think people are basic for using the word. Anyone can use it. But in my experience, it's a certain type that use it. Shall we move past this?
I'm critizing you because as I said, I think the intent behind a word and the natural evolution of its semantics shouldn't be gated. Sure, some people might be ignorant to it's original meaning, but if we're entertaining the notion that a number of people are using it as a genuine term of endearment or just ironic humour then that's ok isn't it? We don't need to sit here and say "No no, it's sexist, please don't use it".
What are even arguing about anymore? I just want it to be ok to use a word that used to mean one thing, and for it's meaning to change relative to the intent behind people using it.