I'm going to speak what's on my heart and mind right now - it is probably overly dramatic and I'm sure plenty will raise eyebrows but I can't help how I feel.
Firstly, I'm British. I was born here. But my ethnic origin is Indian. Maybe I'm in a very small minority, but for the first time in my life I genuinely feel hesitant, for use of a better word, that I'm not welcome here. I know that's a massive overreaction and probably not true, but believe me I've thought on it and tried to shake it, but for the first time I have a voice in the back of my head that is telling me, making me doubt for the first time, whether i belong here. I look at people when I board the train and wonder what they're thinking. I walk the streets and I wonder if anyone's thought in their mind, "I wish he wasn't here".
Secondly, I'm openly a labour voter normally. I very much believe that if I'm wealthy, and I earn well, then a fair share of my wealth should be taken to help the poorer less well off. That's not to say I enjoy paying taxes, who does? But I'm comfortable and morally happy in feeling I should do my bit. That's changed. Some voters voted leave because they have read the facts and made up their mind. No problem. Some voted leave because of personal experience which has affected them and their view. No problem. But some voted as a feck you to establishment. Some voted because they look at the glamour and wealth of London (where I work) with disgust and jealousy. Some voted because they just wanted to kick those who work hard and pay their fair share in the teeth. This has changed my view. Londons wealth is what drives everyone else's economies. I'm the first to know and admit that the wealth London generates isn't distributed fairly, let's say, over the country. And I know that many decisions are with London in mind at the neglect of the rest of the country. Yet, these voters seem to forget that if they hit London, they only will get hit about 50x as hard. Yet just to put their ego on top, they wanted it. They did it. And now, I think, feck this shit tax that I pay to help some of these people, however small a portion gets to them. If they want to give us the finger, perhaps it's time I did too.
Finally, putting aside the economics of it all, it deeply upsets me that the people whom I live near, share the same town, county, and country with, have become so insular. So inward looking. So nationalist. I believe in embracing cultures, embracing people, embracing the world. Working together trying to make it a better place in all that. It feels like we have turned our back on these principles that I believe in so deeply.
Bottom line, there is a huge divide. And frankly when I think of those people from Sunderland who are poor and don't get much support or jobs, I think feck you too. Go and rot.
I hate I feel that way. But sadly, I do. I think that if Boris does come in, and god knows I would hate it, I think of these people who voted in this way with a smirk knowing that they will get absolutely screwed over by this.
I genuinely think the divide between London especially and some other parts of the U.K. is simply too big to fix. The gulf in fundamental beliefs is so significant that it's almost like it's not the same country. In fact I would go as far as saying it's more different than some whole countries are from one another.
It's significant. And something has to happen. It might not be now, but one day it'll be enough is enough and we will have a real issue.
One day on, I thought I'd have calmed a bit. But I haven't. I still feel insecure in my "wantedness" here. I still think so badly of those wankers who voted leave for the wrong reasons. And I can't stand the idea of someone voting leave.
We could be in a world where Trump and BoJo are leaders of two great countries. What a shame that'd be, and how scary, too.
