Here's a leaked script from the new Lukaku video:
Police arriving at Lukaku's hollywood mansion, loud music (Jonas brothers new single and Lukaku singing a long, tapdancing).
Police storms front door.
Police slaps Lukaku with a hefty fine in the middle of his livingroom. He sits down in a fine beige leather couch - the generic couch that all mtv cribs episodes has.
Lukaku turns down music in shock. Makes cringy 'oh no' face.
Ed comes in fresh from the bathroom, high as feck off cocaine. Has a gold sceptre in hand with an ornament of Phil Jones' warface.
Woodward slaps the police with a freshly signed Lukaku contract. Snorts a giant line in front of them with the contract.
Lukaku cranks up the music to volume 11.
TURN DOWN FOR WHAT blasts out.
Ends with a scene with Lukaku and Woody dancing half naked and fully oiled up on the cop cars.