For anybody who missed it, the Tory party conference distilled:
Work harder you lazy fecking c*nts! Produce greater surplus value, you lazy feckers!
Plug the production gap for our nation's future.
Or you won't get a home. Or you won't get a pension.
And you'll lie untreated in a hospital corridor. Awaiting death.
Lazy c*nts.
Work harder.
Strive don't skive.
We love hardworking people, but not the immigrant ones. We love the immigrant ones. Except the muslim ones.
Because we love the muslim ones.That's we won't tolerate them passively.
We are well beyond love here.
And you, the under 25s, are even lazier than the hardworking families.
And if you're under 21, the minimum wage is a dying wage.
Still. You need to work harder before you get it. Before we allow you to live.
We'll fecking bury you, if you don't work. But we won't pay you. Workfare, not welfare. Zero fecking hours.
Throw away your crutches! Get up and go!
You lazy feckers.
Work harder, you c*nts.
Like we did. That's why we can lord it over you. We're not lazy c*nts.
Unlike you.
We didn't inherit our wealth. And we didn't all go to Eton, either. Not all Bullingdon here.
Some here today have never even fecked a pig.
White people applauding. Liverpudlians without accents.
Foreigners are a bit shifty. Pssssssttt! They're taking your jobs.
Foreigners are all right though. I mean, If they produce surplus value. If they strive, not skive. And work for the minimum wage.
Unlike you.
Lazy c*nts.
feck off immigrants! Welcome immigrants! Especially Syrians. Straight from the camps.
Not the fearful ones from the jungle.
Corbyn loves Bin Laden. A tragedy. 9/11 rolled out for old times. Taken out for another spin.
Of course we must deal arms with Saudi Arabia. Or they won't tell us what the terrorists are planning.
Tragedy averted.
Flog a blogger, crucify a protestor. Keep your head for God's sake! Keep quiet, keep the peace.
Corbyn loves terrorists. And he won't drop the bomb!
Unlike us.
We will nuke and be nuked. Because we love our country.
Labour hates hardworking families. Corbyn will crucify you with taxes. He will nationalise our assets.
We love our country.
We love austerity.
So work harder you lazy feckers!
And the gays, nearly forgot. Right on, Gay Pride. And stuff like that. No longer the nasty party. The eighties are over.
But the hate-ies are about to begin.
Because Corbyn hates Britain. And the Queen. Labour hates hardworking families. Hates Britain, the land of equal opportunities.
Unlike us. We love hardworking families. That's why we cut tax credits. To motivate you.
Now work like Chinese, you lazy c*nts! Produce more surplus value. Be like the Chinese. Free to sell your labour to lowest bidder.
A suicide net at every factory! Greater output! Greater wealth!
Don't be a freeloader.
Hate immigrants.
Love immigrants.
Love China.
Hate communists like Corbyn.
Love communists like China.
Strive, don't skive.
Two kids only.
Not like China.
Not social engineering.
Just cuts, cuts, cuts.
c*nts!
Great Britain.
Land of lazy fecking c*nts.
Now get back to work.