Reprise...
To the tune of
They Call Us Run DMC
So we here on the Caf, in the height of summer
To help out this hairless Norwegian bummer
Called CnutofallCnuts, a literal gimp
He be askin’ a question about acronyms:
“What does ‘DM’ mean, this term you use -
Deutsch Marks? Decimetres? BNP shoes?”
So we here to clear shit up, yo can you feel us?
Check us out, we a posse of centre midfielders.
They call us, Cnut, D-
Cnut, D-, D-
Cnut, Cnut, D-
DMs, see?
[Makélélé]
I’m the cork in the bottle, I’m Claude Makélélé
I don’t make attacks, I just mark attackers, gayly,
Total stalemate, that's the endgame that I seek
I’m Boring but Important, like that column in
The Week
Though I’m growing ancient, like Ben Kenobi
I still dick on Deco and Jon Mikel Obi
Not electric like Cesc, or eclectic like Elano
But I’m even more tedious than - Mascherano.
They call us, Cnut, D-
Cnut, D-, D-
Cnut, Cnut, D-
DMs, see?
[Keano]
Well I’m a raging bull, a rampaging Corkman
The best – not just decent, like Jonas Bjorkman
Call me ‘defensive’, I be liable to kill ya -
Cuz I'm box-to-box like Stevie G, and Liam Miller,
I gave Holland a lesson, I gave Haaland a limp,
(I fecking hit him hard - the ball was there, I think)
I could tackle and pass, create and score, like -
The complete midfielder, as I said before, like.
They call us, Cnut, D-
Cnut, D-, D-
Cnut, Cnut, D-
DMs, see?
[Michael Carrick]
Yo I’m the quiet DM, I'm under-rated
But that’s cos my style be understated
I keep shit ticking over, I start attacks
And if you don’t believe me, here’s Mozza with the stats
I may look bemused, and slightly gormless
But without me our play be completely formless
So who cares if I gots a charisma bypass?
Cuz there ain't nuthin rolls as smooth as my pass
I’m like peerless silk, man, I’m of Pirlo’s ilk, man -
If I hadn’t been a playa I’d’ve been a milkman
Dreaming I was Beckham, who can make balls bend
While delivering that semi-skimmed shit, to Wallsend.
They call us, Cnut, D-
Cnut, D-, D-
Cnut, Cnut, D-
DMs, see?
[Makélélé]
Yih. That's three acute accents, bitches.