Film The Redcafe Movie review thread

Stag night of the dead. Jesus Christ, this is a serious contender for the worst movie I ever watched. Nothing in it made sense, it was boring, it wasn't funny and all actors were horrible. 1/10
 
Cat on a Hot Tin Roof - I actually couldn't help but shout "You leave Mr Burns out of this!" at one point, I've watched too much The Simpsons, if that's a bad thing...Anways, pretty good. The homosexual subtext was obviously censored but you could defintely still feel it hovering in the background. I found the hateful potrayal and attitude towards children rather amusing. Good stuff from Paul Newman and the cantankerous Burl Ives. Fair play to Newman, having to keep reject Liz Taylor's affection must have been a harrowing experience, if he ever denied it, it was...mendacity.
 
300: Rise Of An Empire 3D

I'll admit to being a huge fan of the original which made the decision to see this one all the more easier and I wasn't disappointed. It does lack the Charisma of Butler's Leonidas (not a word normally associated with Butler) but this is more of a good side story that could probably be seen as a sandwich in between the original and the inevitable 3rd and final part. Pretty much the same formula which I know is not to everyone's tastes but I can't help feeling that most of the criticism about both this and the original are from people who don't quite understand the link between comic books and mythology and who pay too much attention to the historical inaccuracies (none of which bother me in the slightest). The 3D was a bit of a problem (all of the fight scenes are dark so naturally with 3D they lose a lot more light and occasionally lack clarity) and it could do with a bit more black humor, there is also some clunky dialogue but there is enough action to keep fans of the series more than interested. Also earns an extra half point for Eva Green's knockers. A good solid romp of a movie.

7.5/10
 
Last edited:
300: Rise Of An Empire

I'll admit to being a huge fan of the original which made the decision to see this one all the more easier and I wasn't disappointed. It does lack the Charisma of Butler's Leonidas (not a word normally associated with Butler) but this is more of a good side story that could probably be seen as a sandwich in between the original and the inevitable 3rd and final part. Pretty much the same formula which I know is not to everyone's tastes but I can't help feeling that most of the criticism about both this and the original are from people who don't quite understand the link between comic books and mythology and who pay too much attention to the historical inaccuracies (none of which bother me in the slightest). It could do with a bit more black humor and there is some clunky dialogue but there is enough action to keep fans of the series more than interested. Also earns an extra half point for Eva Green's knockers. A good solid romp of a movie.

7.5/10

The one thing it lacks is titties, all those greeks beauty and Artemisia (not that she's bad) is the only female they can come up with a bit of titties shown....

If only they go spartacus route and starts "rams cocks in ass" it'll be in my top 10 movies of all time :D
 
The one thing it lacks is titties, all those greeks beauty and Artemisia (not that she's bad) is the only female they can come up with a bit of titties shown....

If only they go spartacus route and starts "rams cocks in ass" it'll be in my top 10 movies of all time :D

Given a series I'm sure they'd manage to squeeze more in.:)

People who criticized 300 for having historical inaccuracies need to take a good hard look at themselves.

I agree, Its just pretty mindless fun and I like what they've done with mythology which is inherently full of hyperbole anyway.
 
Our definitions of fun greatly differ I feel.

Silence Of The Lambs was just on TV again. It's absolutely masterful. You (Well, me) always forget how well it's shot, edited, paced and scored in addition to the obviously famous performances. It's a really, really good film.
 
I wasn't a huge fan of either 300 or Sin City... but then I saw The Spirit, which renders the other two films masterpieces by comparison.
 
Our definitions of fun greatly differ I feel.

Silence Of The Lambs was just on TV again. It's absolutely masterful. You (Well, me) always forget how well it's shot, edited, paced and scored in addition to the obviously famous performances. It's a really, really good film.
It's a fantastic film. The whole scene where Lecter escapes is absolutely brilliant.
 
300: Rise Of An Empire 3D

I'll admit to being a huge fan of the original which made the decision to see this one all the more easier and I wasn't disappointed. It does lack the Charisma of Butler's Leonidas (not a word normally associated with Butler) but this is more of a good side story that could probably be seen as a sandwich in between the original and the inevitable 3rd and final part. Pretty much the same formula which I know is not to everyone's tastes but I can't help feeling that most of the criticism about both this and the original are from people who don't quite understand the link between comic books and mythology and who pay too much attention to the historical inaccuracies (none of which bother me in the slightest). The 3D was a bit of a problem (all of the fight scenes are dark so naturally with 3D they lose a lot more light and occasionally lack clarity) and it could do with a bit more black humor, there is also some clunky dialogue but there is enough action to keep fans of the series more than interested. Also earns an extra half point for Eva Green's knockers. A good solid romp of a movie.

7.5/10

Unless they actually completely ignore history I can't see there being enough material for a third. Was disappointed tbh. You know there's something wrong when you start wanting the bad guys to win due to the good guys being so bland. I thought the first was great fun but I can't imagine wanting to watch this again.
 
Only God Forgives - Stylishly shot garbage.

This is the most silly and pretentious film that I have ever seen. The cinematography is beautiful but the characters, story and dialogue was so weak I actually found it humerous. Ryan Gosling as the lead character is just terrible, he hardly utters a line in the film (like most of the characters), instead they spend most of the time staring moodily as the cameras pan around them.

8/10 for the cinematography. 0/10 for the rest of it.
 
Son of God

A straightforward, uncontroversial narrative of the life and sayings of the King of the Jews, according to the scriptures. Mostly English actors, filmed in Morocco. Decent acting, nice cinematography, music a bit too intrusive. 7/10
 
The Guard Post GP506
Billed as a horror but after watching it, it clearly was more of a mystery thriller. The film is about Korean military soldiers sent to investigate a guard post where the previous soldiers mysteriously all died. They find one survivor and interrogate him. The film is switches between the present and past a lot and sometimes it's difficult to keep up. The story is decent and the mystery is intriguing but the payoff lets it all down. Some great lighting and camerawork, decent acting as well as awesome makeup effects, but beyond it looking really good, the narrative doesn't have too much to offer as the mystery is unravelled. Has a pretty pointless twist as well. Worth a watch if you are stuck for a film but not too great, which is a shame as the same director made R-Point which I liked a lot 6/10
 
Smoke (1990) - Nice little movie of the character-driven variety that's a long way from Hollywood. A great cast and solid script make the film highly enjoyable even if it does get a bit too sentimental at times. Steer well clear if you prefer more action than dialogue in your movies. 7.5/10
 
Unless they actually completely ignore history I can't see there being enough material for a third. Was disappointed tbh. You know there's something wrong when you start wanting the bad guys to win due to the good guys being so bland. I thought the first was great fun but I can't imagine wanting to watch this again.

It's too simplistic.

The Athens were never as good as a fighter compared to Sparta, hence they toned down the abs and stuff. Themistokles isn't Leonidas, and it's kinda hard to make a bravado out of a rag tag ship trying to make the best out of their predicament without making it too unrealistic.

If any, I think they try their best to stick to realistic history (i'm not a history geek), but there's no way you can win with their numbers of ship.

As for material for third, there is still loads of battle after wards along the history line of Greeks / Persian which I'm sure they can pluck if they really want to.

Wasn't an oscar worthy, but visual and fun wise, it's a very fun movie to watch, and the visual is breathtakingly fresh (and new). And if we paid tickets for dross sequel of Transformer, i'd be more than glad to pay ticket for the 300 sequel, even for the visual alone. And they got that cheesy swordfight (which imo is closer to a real battle than any of the Jet Li Kungfu flick)
 
Non Stop

was good and entertaining, but too many plotholes (as expected from an Agatha Christie type of crime). But so far Liam Neeson was fun to watch and root for, he's stylishly efficient in his fighting and doesn't come out as superhero ala Die Hard.

And .. been said here, Julian Moore is intriguingly sexy in her own ways, she's like the "girl next door" who you might get the chance to bump one day, i guess that makes her very sexy... the thought that this kinda girls might happens to be just a few blocks away from where we live, and probably working at Tesco and won't demand a Ferrari to court

6.5 cocks
 
Red Rock West - Nicolas Cage is brooding and wears a jeans jacket. A lot of sinister blue eyes and an occasionally Frank Booth-ing Dennis Hopper. An entertaining neo-noir along the lines of Blood Simple but not really much more than that, a bit forgettable in the end. John Dahl's next effort The Last Seduction is a much better film.

d8jGKT6.jpg

Dennis Hopper (right), the jeans jacket (left]
 
Haunt
The film follows the old family moves into a house where the previous family were murdered and then start getting haunted by some pissed off ghosts. I dont mind rehashing this story as it can be still done well (The Conjuring) but everything in this film you will feel like you have seen done in the exact same way a million times. The scares are not original, the plot is conventional, the characters are cardboard. There are the uses of some nice camera angles here and there but the fact that it relies on jump scares that you can guess a mile off really makes it an annoying watch 4/10
 
Dallas Buyers Club

7/10 film that has 10/10 performances from its leads.
 
Reservoir Dogs

First time watching it, thought it was great. I like Tarantino's stuff and this is no different; it's got that Pulp Fiction feel to it but is probably slightly less complicated and more faster paced because it's not too long. Moves at a great pace though and is immensely entertaining. 9/10
 
Haunt
The film follows the old family moves into a house where the previous family were murdered and then start getting haunted by some pissed off ghosts. I dont mind rehashing this story as it can be still done well (The Conjuring) but everything in this film you will feel like you have seen done in the exact same way a million times. The scares are not original, the plot is conventional, the characters are cardboard. There are the uses of some nice camera angles here and there but the fact that it relies on jump scares that you can guess a mile off really makes it an annoying watch 4/10
I have just acquired this film, did not expect much from it, but I will still watch it.
 
Man of Steel takes the ideologically suspect comic book character and places him in Nolan's ideologically suspect comic universe. Added to that is the really stupid Zack Snyder. So almost every scene has lots of really stupid things happening as well as the predictable, dunderhead celebration of faintly fascist imagery and heroic military violence. My favourite (worst) part was when they came up with the ingenious idea to convert Superman's spaceship into a massive humanity saving bomb. As for the endless orgy of smashing and crunching violence, well that became tedious really early.

However the cast is pretty great and because of them I found the film entirely watchable. I guess that's why they deserve the big bucks. The writers didn't deserve a penny.
 
Man of Steel takes the ideologically suspect comic book character and places him in Nolan's ideologically suspect comic universe. Added to that is the really stupid Zack Snyder. So almost every scene has lots of really stupid things happening as well as the predictable, dunderhead celebration of faintly fascist imagery and heroic military violence. My favourite (worst) part was when they came up with the ingenious idea to convert Superman's spaceship into a massive humanity saving bomb. As for the endless orgy of smashing and crunching violence, well that became tedious really early.

However the cast is pretty great and because of them I found the film entirely watchable. I guess that's why they deserve the big bucks. The writers didn't deserve a penny.

I completely agree this was probably the most disappointed I've ever been watching a film. So convoluted, messy, unoriginal and poorly written. This was ment to be some edgy new take on superman but instead it was the same except they gave superman even less character.