Film The Redcafe Movie review thread

Sicario - Had high expectations, unfortunately for me personally it did not live up to the hype. The opening scene is excellent and captures your attention straight away. After that however, you expect something big to happen (due to the build up in tension the whole time) and you patiently wait for it throughout the whole movie but ultimately I had the feeling it did not really happen. Movie suffered from a few "slow parts" as well.

Still an enjoyable watch though and Del Toro was brilliant.

6.8/10
 
Last edited:
The Wedding Ringer - this movie is really, really shite, but for some reason I can't explain I enjoyed it. It stars some guy as a bit of a loser marrying Penny from Big Bang, and he needs a best man. He has no real friends, and has never been on a guy's holiday. So he employs Kevin Hart to be his best man and make him seem like a really cool guy. I have no real idea what moral they're trying to promote here, but there are a couple of funny moments, and a couple of weird moments. One bimbo says she's only 15 and this guy looks at her with a pervy smile. But yea, really crap, but enjoyable. Dunno why. 6/10.
 
The Hunger Games: Mockingjay Part 2
Same old shit really. Had a couple of good action scenes and Jennifer Lawrence was really good in the role but overall was very padded and quite boring 5/10

Condemned

Thought this was the Stone Cold film but to my surprise it was not. Instead it was a film about a bunch of meth heads and pimps living in an apartment and all their bad habits grow some horrible virus in the apartment that turns everyone into maniacs. I usually watch films to the end, even shit ones but I couldn't get past the 30 minute mark here. Was so damn stupid 1/10

Knock Knock

Keanu Reeves wife and kids got on a weekend away and two girls knock on his door because they are lost out in the rain. He lets them in and they seduce him into a threesome. They then start to torture and rape him as he tries to get rid of them. Eli Roth at it again. Horrible dialogue, awful acting and a boring plot. Waste of time 3/10
 
Just read the plot for Knock Knock. What a piece of shit movie. What's the moral here? You can seduce, manipulate, rape and kill with no consequence? If you are a victim of rape, you deserve to be punished and have your life ruined?
 
Sicario - Had high expectations, unfortunately for me personally it did not live up to the hype. The opening scene is excellent and captures your attention straight away. After that however, you expect something big to happen (due to the build up in tension the whole time) and you patiently wait for it throughout the whole movie but ultimately I had the feeling it did not really happen. Movie suffered from a few "slow parts" as well.

Still an enjoyable watch though and Del Toro was brilliant.

6.8/10

Love Denis Villeneuve movies but youre absolutely right - the movie was quite disappointing. The climax which is usually the surprising and unexpected in his movies was completely predicatable and boring. Its massively overrated by rotten tomatoes and imdb as well.
 
Just read the plot for Knock Knock. What a piece of shit movie. What's the moral here? You can seduce, manipulate, rape and kill with no consequence? If you are a victim of rape, you deserve to be punished and have your life ruined?
They're the baddies. You're not really supposed to agree with their worldview any more than Freddy Krueger's.
 
They're the baddies. You're not really supposed to agree with their worldview any more than Freddy Krueger's.
They have no karmic justice or downfall though. Usually, in good horror films, the main character tends to overcome the bad guy/girl/ghost after adversity. In this they get off Scott free and the main characters life is left ruined as if its his fault that they did this to him and he was getting his comeuppance. Its dumb and stupid message for people.
 
They have no karmic justice or downfall though. Usually, in good horror films, the main character tends to overcome the bad guy/girl/ghost after adversity. In this they get off Scott free and the main characters life is left ruined as if its his fault that they did this to him and he was getting his comeuppance. Its dumb and stupid message for people.
Well I don't think every movie needs a happy ending. I'll stop now because it's getting dangerously close to seeming like I think Knock Knock is a good movie.
 
Took the wife and her niece to see Hunger Games. Less shite than Twighlight is about the best praise I can give it.

Aside from it being useless, was it really dark for anyone else who watched it? Like they forgot to light the set properly or one of the lamps in the projector was broken? I could barely see half of what was going on.
 
Took the wife and her niece to see Hunger Games. Less shite than Twighlight is about the best praise I can give it.

Aside from it being useless, was it really dark for anyone else who watched it? Like they forgot to light the set properly or one of the lamps in the projector was broken? I could barely see half of what was going on.
It was very dark. It felt like a really shitty pirate copy.
 
It was very dark. It felt like a really shitty pirate copy.

Ah, then it wasn't just me. At one stage I was going to go out to the desk and complain about their projector. Glad I didn't now.
 
Stalker - I need a drink.
HRB1xGF.gif
 
Stalker - I need a drink.
:lol: Did you enjoy it?
They have no karmic justice or downfall though. Usually, in good horror films, the main character tends to overcome the bad guy/girl/ghost after adversity. In this they get off Scott free and the main characters life is left ruined as if its his fault that they did this to him and he was getting his comeuppance. Its dumb and stupid message for people.
Does every film need to have a message?
 
Just read the plot for Knock Knock. What a piece of shit movie. What's the moral here? You can seduce, manipulate, rape and kill with no consequence? If you are a victim of rape, you deserve to be punished and have your life ruined?

Maybe you need to watch the movie for the answer to those questions?
 
Prom Night
Remake of the 1980's film which starred Jamie Lee Curtis. This is probably what it feels like if you are watching the dump Ando took after eating all the pies from the Old Trafford canteen back when he was here. Void of any tension, characterisation, narrative or gore. It's the horror film your not-so-cool parents would make if they had the chance. Avoid 1/10
 
Just read the plot for Knock Knock. What a piece of shit movie. What's the moral here? You can seduce, manipulate, rape and kill with no consequence? If you are a victim of rape, you deserve to be punished and have your life ruined?

The girls were very hot to be fair.
 
Spectre - 2/10

My god, that was execrable. They just couldn't be arsed with a plot at all so resorted to, hey, this is why this is the way it is, and we don't care to bother with any actual connections.

Laughed out loud when Bond said "It's not over yet" 2 hours into the movie (after blowing up the arch-villains 20 year project with a single bullet). At that point, everyone in the cinema groaned in unison at the prospect of more of that tumescent shite.

What a waste of 2 and a half hours.

Thought it worked well as a glossy travelogue. Mexico City, London, Rome, Austria, Tokyo, Morocco, London again.
 
Spectre - 2/10

My god, that was execrable. They just couldn't be arsed with a plot at all so resorted to, hey, this is why this is the way it is, and we don't care to bother with any actual connections.

Laughed out loud when Bond said "It's not over yet" 2 hours into the movie (after blowing up the arch-villains 20 year project with a single bullet). At that point, everyone in the cinema groaned in unison at the prospect of more of that tumescent shite.

What a waste of 2 and a half hours.

Watched it last night and you've written my review for me. Absolute rubbish.
 
Jupiter Ascending:

It was on sky, I was bored, she meant nothing to me, I didn't think I'd get caught etc.

Wow.
Typically of the Wachowski's, it has some visually great moments but it is largely style over bizarre and often nonsensical substance. You expect a bit of nonsense in sci-fi, but this is really silly. Alien life forms range from the generic grey alien to winged reptilian demonesque beasts and technology ranges from ultra futuristic, to some sort of steampunkish theme that seemed totally at odds with everything else.

Eddie Redmayne hams it up as some strange campy villain with mommy issues, Channing Tatum is a wolfboy with a rollerskate version of the Hoverboard from BTTF inserted in his boots and Mila Kunis wanders around looking bemused.

I can't recommend this film.
 
They have no karmic justice or downfall though. Usually, in good horror films, the main character tends to overcome the bad guy/girl/ghost after adversity. In this they get off Scott free and the main characters life is left ruined as if its his fault that they did this to him and he was getting his comeuppance. Its dumb and stupid message for people.
I love the ambiguous ending of Texas Chainsaw Massacre. It's an iconic final scene. Everyone doesn't have to live happily ever after.
 
Jupiter Ascending:

It was on sky, I was bored, she meant nothing to me, I didn't think I'd get caught etc.

Wow.
Typically of the Wachowski's, it has some visually great moments but it is largely style over bizarre and often nonsensical substance. You expect a bit of nonsense in sci-fi, but this is really silly. Alien life forms range from the generic grey alien to winged reptilian demonesque beasts and technology ranges from ultra futuristic, to some sort of steampunkish theme that seemed totally at odds with everything else.

Eddie Redmayne hams it up as some strange campy villain with mommy issues, Channing Tatum is a wolfboy with a rollerskate version of the Hoverboard from BTTF inserted in his boots and Mila Kunis wanders around looking bemused.

I can't recommend this film.

See I can't decide... do you think a) Eddie Redmayne is just doing terrible acting this film or b) Eddie Redmayne realises the whole thing is a proposterous joke and is taking the piss?
 
See I can't decide... do you think a) Eddie Redmayne is just doing terrible acting this film or b) Eddie Redmayne realises the whole thing is a proposterous joke and is taking the piss?

I don't know. It's the only Redmayne film I've seen, so I have nothing to compare it to (other than the tediously long trailer for his upcoming ****** film that I was subjected to at the cinema, which basically made me feel like I'd watched the whole movie) so maybe he was deliberately shit, or maybe he's shit?
 
I don't know. It's the only Redmayne film I've seen, so I have nothing to compare it to (other than the tediously long trailer for his upcoming ****** film that I was subjected to at the cinema, which basically made me feel like I'd watched the whole movie) so maybe he was deliberately shit, or maybe he's shit?
He is shit. Overrated actor and an overrated performance as Hawkins which was perfect for him. He even looks like the guy. Keaton should have won last year and the fact he didn't is bullshit.
 
He is shit. Overrated actor and an overrated performance as Hawkins which was perfect for him. He even looks like the guy. Keaton should have won last year and the fact he didn't is bullshit.

I didn't fancy the Hawking film even though he's obviously a brilliant man, I don't want to watch a film about him. A bit like others have said about the Steve Jobs film.
 
I didn't fancy the Hawking film even though he's obviously a brilliant man, I don't want to watch a film about him. A bit like others have said about the Steve Jobs film.
Same. I don't like biopics about innovators because they usually lead fairly boring lives.

Biopics on historical figures and criminals however. Much more interesting.
 
There was absolutely nothing overrated about Redmayne's performance as Hawking. It was incredible.
Sure, t was a great performance. Don't think it deserved an Oscar though. It was quite generic a performance (Person slowly descends into sickness) compared to other winners and quite derivative to boot.

Personally, felt Gylenhaal should have won and the fact he wasn't nominated just shows how ridiculous it was. I would also rate Keatons performance above Redmaynes.

Alas, people love those types of acting performances and no surprise that he did get a lot of plaudits for it. It still was a great performance mind.

He is still a shit actor too.