"I know I'm a very good coach."
His self-belief abounds
"I'm the best!"
More of the same, after winning the Eredivisie title with Alkmaar
"The Bavarian attitude to life suits me perfectly. Why? [Bayern Munich's club motto is] 'Mia san mia,’ 'We are who we are' and I am who I am: confident, arrogant, dominant, honest, hard-working and innovative."
At his first press conference as Bayern Munich coach
"In the Netherlands, being arrogant just means having a lot of self-confidence."
On his public image
"I have the body of a God. Lederhosen suit me. But I also have a belly."
With a hint of irony ahead of one of Bayern Munich's now traditional visits to the Oktoberfest
"I have the body of a God, but not like Mario Gomez."
Failing to match up to the powerfully-built Germany striker
"If I were a God, I would win everything. I'm no God."
On his irony and himself
"I told the board we would celebrate winning every title. I'm a party animal."
On victory celebrations with Bayern
"I'm delighted for the fans that we're celebrating today. I'm always the one who turns off the lights at the end."
Following a Bayern victory over Hamburg
"I'm also a Christmas animal."
Looking forward to spending time with his family ahead of the winter break
"I've never worn anything like that. I'm never cold. I'm hot-blooded, my wife says so too. We always sleep spooning."
On Arjen Robben's habit of wearing leggings in winter
"When I think I've made an error, it can cause me a sleepless night. But that only happens rarely."
On the difficulties of getting over mistakes
"When players come up to me and say how great it is to work with me, that's more important to me than any paycheck."
How he prefers recognition to money
"If we can strengthen our squad, we'll buy. But I'm not the kind of coach who just goes out and buys for the sake of it. I'm a coach who wants to - and can - improve players."
On his philosophy as a coach
"Humans are insignificant here among all these mountains and the lake. I think that's wonderful."
During a Bayern Munich training camp at the idyllic Lake Garda
"I hope the level of desire is greater than their fatigue. But the body isn't as strong as the spirit. And we have some wimps."
On his players' physical condition
"Running is for animals. You need a brain and a ball for football."
On his basic approach to the game
"I am the way I am and I've not got an easy-going manner. But I'm not going to change my personality just because some people want me to."
Discussing his style of leadership
"If another coach were to come in, whose record can compare with mine? Who would need to come? [Sir Alex] Ferguson has won more titles than me. Maybe [Fabio] Capello too. But they’re both busy."
During a time of crisis at Bayern Munich
"Sport isn’t just about technique, but also about strategy and personality. I always have a strategy."
On the sometimes highly competitive tennis matches against his wife Truus
"Money doesn’t make you happy. It is an important part of making you feel happy, but for me recognition is more important, especially recognition from the players."
On his relationship with his charges
He sounds like a Dutch Ron Atkinson! Though with a better record....
