"how do you wash it?" "do you comb it?" "how do you straighten it?" "how does it look when it's wet" "is it real?"
I don't wanna derail the thread with too much focus on black hair, but yes even positive acknowledgement isn't helpful.
It's kinda like the idea that making a song about Lukaku having a big penis isn't racist because it's a positive attribute that any guy would want.
Thinking black people have cool hair only highlights the idea that our hair is 'other' and as such warrants particular attention, which is why I said positive intent doesn't mean it's not racist.
Sure in the beginning the attention is fine - and in somewhere like Asia where they hardly ever see a black person even in media you can understand the shock and curiosity, but as a black person you begin to realise that your hair is on notice at all times, your hair can be the reason why someone thinks of you in one way or not - which can impact whether or not you get a job, or someone thinks you're smart, or likely to rob them, or poor etc.
You're then raised with the idea (particularly if you're a black woman) that your hair must be neat/tidy (read: approving of white beauty standards aka straight/tied up/short) in order not to make you look bad. Which then has the psychological effect of disliking your own natural hair, or thinking that other race's hair is superior to yours.
Like I said it's a really big topic, and there's so much to unpack because it's all tied in to much bigger subjects like white supremacy and racism.
But it's thirsty thursdays and I have a bottle of rosé with my name on it.